What more do you want this weekend than jokes....Funny Rastaman Life!

 Funny Rastaman Life!!!!!

1st!

A Rasta man goes to the bank with a 25 kg bag of marijuana and hands it over
to the cashier...

Shocked, the cashier asks.."What’s this for?"...

the Rastaman replies..."Me here to open a joint account"....

2nd!

There's a Rastaman, a white man and a beautiful girl sitting next to each other on a train, with the girl being in the middle. The train goes through a tunnel and it gets completely dark.

Suddenly there is a kissing sound and then a loud slap!

As the train comes out of the tunnel, the woman looks perplexed while the Rastaman is sitting there looking angrily at the white man who is bent over holding his face which is red from an apparent slap.

Everybody else in the coach is laughing at him.

The white man is thinking to himself, "Damn it, that black guy must have tried to kiss the girl in the dark and she thought it was me and slapped me." The girl is thinking, "That man must have tried to take advantage of me in the dark, and kissed the Rastaman instead and got slapped. Serves him right."

Meanwhile, the Rastaman is thinking, "I-man hope dis train go though another tunnel soon so I-man can kiss the back of mi hand again and box dat bloodclaat white bwoy one more time.

3rd!
A jamaican guy enters a resturant and while sitting at his table he notices a gorgeous woman sitting at another table alone. he calls the waiter over and asks for a bottle of the most expensive champagne to be sent over to her knowing that if she accepts it she will be his.
the waiter gets the bottle and quickly takes it over to the young lady, saying that its from the gentleman. she looks at the champagne and decides to send a note back to the jamaican, the note reads...
"for me to accept this bottle you need to have a mercedes in your garage, a million in the bank and 9 inches in your trousers."
After Reading this note the jamaican sends back a note of his own, it reads...
"jus su yuh know...me av a bran new benz an a bran new bimma park up inna mi yard, an mi av over 10 million inna de bank but nuhbaddy an mi mean NUHBADDY nah gon mek mi cut 3 inch off a wah mi av inna mi pants...suh yuh can jus sen back di champagne!"

4th!

A Jamaican Rastaman went to the hospital for treatment on his badly burnt ears and the doctor asked him: How did you get your ears so badly burnt? PATIENT: I & I a iron mi shirt and one eddiat bwoy caal mi upon mi cell phone,and insteada me ansa the phone, me pick up de iron and ansa it. DOCTOR: OK. That explains one ear. But how do you explain the other ear? PATIENT: The bumbastic eediat called me back.

5th!

Rastaman calls in to work and says, "Hey, boss I not come work today, I really sick. I got headache, stomach ache and both my leg hurt. I’m no comin’ work."

The boss says, "You know rastaman, I really need you today. When I feel like this I go to my wife and tell her give me sex. That makes everything better and I go work. You try that."

Two hours later rastaman calls again: "Boss, I do what you say and I feel great. I’ll be at work soon. You got a nice house."

^6th!

 A Jamaican Rasta man and his wife are in court getting a divorce. The problem was who should get custody of the child. The wife jumped up and said, “Your Honor. I brought the child into this world with pain and labor. She should be in my custody.” The judge turns to the husband and says, “What do you have to say in the matter?” The Rasta man sat for a while contemplating, then slowly rose. Your Honor, if I man put a dollar in a vending machine and a Pepsi comes out, whose Pepsi is it, ‘I and I’ or the machine’s?

Courtesy to Drizzy 'Goke, the funny dude...guys more will be expected from him here and the new edition of EXTREME magazine.